Saturday, August 27, 2011

KAYLA'S TOP 30 before I turn 30 - Celebrate Family

Today is day 3 in my Top 30 before I turn 30 count down. Today,  I celebrate Family. I have been so blessed to have such wonderful family - blood relatives and the adopted ones alike. Thank goodness for my parents, grandparents, aunts uncles and all of the community members who incluenced my life so deeply.
Today was especially wonderful because I started the day with three people who I just met a little over a year ago, and then spent the rest of the day with them and my daughter. So, I'll start from the beginning...

This morning as I was driving, I decided to check my voicemails, probably for the first time in 2 weeks, and of course all of my old voice mails came up and asked to be deleted or re-saved. The first was a voicemail from Mikaela in May 2008. She wasn't talking yet, just making joyful noises into the receiver - trying to tell me she missed me while I was in Birmingham, AL for my internship. It was the first time I had to travel for work/school and be away from her for a week. Thank goodness for the voicemail and I'll never delete the message.

Then of course, there were about 10 additional messages that I have saved over the last three years from her - and her little personality has really developed. I hear her voice and my heart smiles. The reason I bring this up is because after I hit my early 20's and learned more about myself, I decided that I should never get married or have children. Simply because I have many personality traits that I didn't want to pass on to some poor soul. But somewhere between my early and mid 20's, someone somewhere saw fit to give me a beautiful little surprise - the greatest gift I have ever received - my daughter. The love I feel for her is greater than any love I have ever experienced before. The love I have for her is deeper than any love I can imagine a person can feel for anyone other than their child oror a spouse. So, I thought I shouldn't have children and then the greater plan dictated that I should, and I have been ever so blessed by her and everything she is and will eventually become. It wasn't until much later that I determined that I wanted another child. I was a bit angry that I was never able to have another for awhile, but then I decided I make a terribly ugly and angry pregnant lady, and no one should have to endure that.

But, a greater plan brought two additional children into my life. Now, I didn't get to give birth to them, some other beautiful woman did, but I do get to spend quite a bit of time with them and have come to love them very deeply as well. The great thing is that they come with an amazing father, who I love and admire deeply as well. Our lilttle conglomerate is a bit odd - but very special to me. Today when we went to Mt. Charleston for hiking and to have a picnic lunch, it was perfect. We were enjoying the outdoors together, eating together, and fighting and laughing together (well, that was mostly the kids as they got tired), but it was just as I imagined my future family would be when I was in high school, long before I decided I didn't deserve to have a family because I am so pig headed and self righteous, and certainly long before a greater plan determined that I was being silly.

Thank goodness for the family this great Universe and God give us - blood related or not.

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I am the original REAL GRITTY WOMAN.